Why Don't They Skate In The Nude?
An Improvization by the Big Jerks

 

Why don't?
Why don't they skate?
Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't?
Why don't they skate?
Why don't they skate in the nude?
I don't know. Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate in the nude?
They're so pretty
They'd look so nice
They make all those splits
and all those twirls
And double axels
And flying camel
Why don't they? Why don't they skate in the nude?
I can't figure it out
Katrina Witt? Why don't you skate in the nude?
Come on baby. Why don't you skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate? Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate

Oh I'd love to see that little Chinn girl in the nude!

Oh yeah, skate in the nude!
Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate in the nude?
At least the girls!
The pretty ones
Why don't they skate in the nude?
There's no reason
I give her all 6's
Well, artistic impression maybe a 5.8
Technical merit? Perfection!
Why don't they skate in the nude?
two points off for cottage cheese
3 points off for injections
I don't know. Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate in the nude?
It's not like its cold or anything
It's only freezing
Think of what those nipples'd look like.
Hey I'll warm 'm up afterwards how 'bout you?
Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate in the nude?

Maybe a striptease act?
They'd start with a mink coat on
Take it off!
And they've got a nice white dress on
They strip that off
And they've got a black leotard
She takes that off
She's got red underware on. Oh my God!
And that's it!
She's in the nude!
She's in the nude!
Ahhh!

Now take it off
Now take it off
Now take it off
Now take it off
Now take it off
Take it off
Take it off
Take it off
Take it off
Rosalind Summers, take it off.
Take it off
Cynthia Chinn take it off.
Tiffany? Take it off
Tiffany! Yeah. Come on take it off
Katrina Witt, please take it off
Ursula Kashandovich take it off
Katrina, take it off
Danny Sisson take it off! Take it off
Take it off!

Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate in the nude? I don't know
Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate in the nude?
Why don't they skate in the nude?

Well what about the criteria?
Well, it might go something like this.
Too much hair around the anus
Minus one point
You know some of those Italian girls are pretty hairy
Saggy tits minus 2 points
Cellulite minus, minus three points

In the nude, in the nude, in the nude, in the nude
In the nude, in the nude, in the nude, in the nude
In the nude, in the nude, in the nude, in the nude
In the nude, in the nude, in the nude, in the nude.

(copyright 2008 Big Jerks, Sissonvisions, BMI)

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