Dead Monkey
An Improvisation by the Big Jerks

 

A dark, very dark, windy night
That day I called some buddies over
Said just this afternoon a lady buried her monkey
Her pet monkey named "Minky"
Buried the monkey with $4,000 worth of jewelry
And I got a plan
My plan is.
Dig it up!

Dig up the dead monkey
Dig up the dead monkey
Dig up the dead monkey
Dig up the dead monkey
Dig up the dead monkey

I'm gonna dig up that dead monkey!
Are you gonna help me?
What, are you chicken?
I'm gonna dig up that dead monkey!
Are you gonna help me?
Dig up that dead monkey!
Are you gonna help me?
If you could help me out,
I'll give you a thousand dollars.

We walked through the animal graveyard
With our picks and shovels
We found the stone
Here it is!
That's where the monkey's buried!
Let's dig it up, and get those treasures!
Sell 'em on the black market
And make ourselves a fortune, on the dead monkey!
Like I told the guy on the phone,
"There's money in dead animals!"

We dug for a half an hour
Digging, throwing the dirt
Digging deeper, deeper
All of a sudden, we saw the coffin
Pried it open.
Ooo! The smell! Aaeeh! Ooo!
There's the monkey, dressed up in a dress!
Jewelry around its neck
Around its arms
Jewelry everywhere
Diamonds, pearls, earrings, necklaces
Grab the jewelry, quick!
I see a light, hurry!


The monkey smells! Aaahh!
Dead monkey, where's the monkey?
Dead monkey, smells horrible
Dead monkey, smells horrible, horrible!
Dead monkey smells horrible, horrible
We're gonna dig it up, smells horrible
We're gonna dig it up, horrible
Smells horrible, smells horrible
The dead monkey smells horrible
We're gonna dig it up, smells horrible
The security patrol saw us!
They saw the lights
Smells horrible, run for it!
We had to leave the monkey grave open
Smells horrible


We took what jewelry we could
Running through the graveyard
We had to get out of there
I wasn't gonna get put in jail for opening the monkey's grave, no way!
Aahh! Hurry under the fence! Aahh!
Hey, Bob got caught!
Look out! It smells horrible
Here, I'll help you
Come on Bob! Aahh! Aahh
God! Gimme your feet
It smells horrible. Aahh!
We're diggin' up that dead monkey!
It smells horrible
Diggin' it up!
Diggin' it up!
It smells horrible
Diggin' it up!
Diggin' it up!
It smells horrible
Aahh! Diggin' it up!
Smelled horrible, smells horrible

We got away with it!
They found the monkey's grave open the next morning!
It smelled horrible
It smelled horrible
But they didn't have a clue who it was that broke into the monkey grave


Mrs. Bickers, of course, was upset!
"How can they do such a thing?"
Well, I'll tell you how they did such a thing.
'Cause it was there!
Sure, it smelled horrible
Smelled real awful
Smell more like a dead monkey
But I got $1,000 in jewelry


It smelled horrible, we're diggin' it up
But it's gonna smell horrible
We're diggin' it up, sure
But it's gonna have to smell horrible
We're diggin' it
We're diggin' it, sure!
We're diggin' it
It smells horrible
But I'm gonna dig it up
We're diggin' it
Are you with me?
We're diggin' it
Are you with me? Or are you again' me?
We're diggin' it
Are you with me? Or are you again' me?

(sniff sniff sniff)

I'm the ghost of the dead monkey
I'm the ghost of the dead monkey
I'm haunting you from my grave
I'll follow you wherever you go!
I'm the ghost of the dead "Minky"! Ooh!
I'm haunted forever, by the ghost of the dead "Minky"!
I'm haunted 'til the day I die!


For the ghost of the dead "Minky"!
I'm the ghost of the dead "Minky"
You defiled my grave
"You'll not see a peaceful night 'til the day you die.!"
Monkey on fire, the monkey's on fire
Monkey on fire
Monkey on fire


Monkey in my brain
Monkey on fire
Monkey on the brain
That monkey's on fire
I can't forget the monkey
Monkey on fire, horrendous smell, smell horrible
Monkey's on fire
We're gonna dig it up
Monkey's on fire!
We're gonna dig it up!
The monkey's on fire, we're gonna dig it up!
That monkey's on fire
Are you with me? Or are you again' me?
The monkey's on fire, we're gonna dig it up!
The monkey's on fire!


The ghost of the dead "Minky"!
That monkey's on fire
Haunts me 'til I die
That monkey's on fire
Haunts me 'till the day I die
That monkey's on fire
I'm the ghost of the dead "Minky"!
That monkey's on fire
I'm the ghost of the dead "Minky"!
That monkey's on fire
Oh! That dead "Minky"!
That monkey's on fire
That monkey's on fire
That monkey's on fire
The ghost of the dead "Minky"!
That monkey's on fire
That monkey's on fire
That monkey's on fire
That monkey's on fire, ghost of that dead "Minky"
That monkey's on fire
I'll regret it 'til the day I die
That monkey's on fire.


Blood money!
That monkey's on fire, the dead monkey
I'm not kiddin' around
That monkey's on fire
The monkey had a dress on!
The monkey's on fire
It smelled horrible
That monkey's on fire
We had to cut the jewelry off
The monkey's on fire, it smelled horrible
They're on fire


The ghost of the dead "Minky"
The ghost!

(copyright 2008 Big Jerks, Sissonvisions, BMI)

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